On being where I belong....

If you aren't without close family ties, this piece may make little sense.  If you are alone, as I am, I think my feelings will be crystal clear.  I have spent much of my life in search of my physical place in the world.  For 20 years, I sought the right assignment in the Air Force.  I planned and plotted assignments almost constantly.

I always felt that I was a fifth wheel.  When November came calling and Halloween was done with; all my fellow Sergeants talked of turkeys and visiting in-laws left me speechless.  I always back pedaled away from the conversation as quickly as possible.  I knew that I would be spending the holidays alone.  I tried excepting invitations.  It was worse watching others glow than sitting home dreaming.  I tried travel.  Christmas shopping in London over Thanksgiving is great, but what do you do at Christmas ?

The key,,,,,,it is now plain,,,,,is home.  Home as in, "A man's home is his castle."  Home as in, "Home is where the heart is." Home as in, "Gee, am I glad to be back home.  Home is where I want to be."  Homes come in many forms.  My good friend, Nell, is surrounded by husband, children, grandchildren, geberations yet to appear.  My friend Rick has wife and parents in the same city.  While my buddy Cindy has lost her mate and children who have flown the nest.....she lives a few minutes away from her mother and all are in close proximity via wireless.  My fav celebrity has a castle full of cats and a celebrity partner to share.  It's the partner that makes the house a home.  It's the partner that keeps me searching.


I have heard it said that, "there is someone special for everyone".  I don't believe it, but I dream it.  Several times I thought I had found my match.  There was always a fatal flaw or ten.  I still remember the fiasco's of my teen years and the heartbreaks of my 20's.  By 30 the illusions were mostly gone.  I was a hopeless not helpless romantic.

Since I retired I have moved at least once a year and am now contemplating a move to Washington, D.C.  Back to the Old Soldier's Home.  There, at least, I have companions of a like mind.